Commitment is valuable. It often arises when we find meaning in what we do, when we identify with it and are passionate about the cause.
It becomes problematic when our own value becomes increasingly linked to performance and we assume that we will only be accepted if we meet expectations. These expectations may be expressed, unspoken, or only exist in our own minds.
The transition between commitment and overwork is fluid and often goes unnoticed for a long time. From my own experience, I can say that I didn’t notice it for months, if not years. Commitment feels good; it gives you a task, a purpose. Taking on responsibility, being needed, being effective—all of this strengthens your self-image.
Overwork, or self-exploitation, feels surprisingly similar at first, but it takes its toll in the long run.
For example, employees regularly stay longer, not because it is required, but because they don’t have to explain themselves when work is left undone.
The difference is rarely in the workload, but often in the inner self.
For example, you notice this when free time in your calendar makes you feel restless, or when you take on the next task even though you don’t know when you’re supposed to do it.
This inner attitude can be reinforced or weakened by your environment.

The following statements can provide some initial guidance.
There are no right or wrong answers; the important thing is to be honest with yourself.
1. I feel irreplaceable and have the feeling that I have to do a lot myself.
2. Breaks feel more like a waste of time.
3. I feel guilty when I leave early.
4. I often say yes even though I hesitate internally.
5. Recognition gives me short-term energy; without it, my motivation drops significantly.
6. I have to “earn” my rest.
The more often you agree internally, the more worthwhile it is to take a closer look at whether you are still committed or already overcommitted.
For example, you notice this when free time in your calendar makes you feel restless, or when you accept the next task even though you don’t know when you’re supposed to do it.

Chronic overload rarely arises from external demands alone. It is often exacerbated by internal drivers.
Typical patterns are:
“Be perfect.” – you take every little mistake personally.
“Try harder.” – you can’t let things be “good enough” sometimes.
“Make everyone happy.” – you don’t feel like you belong if you don’t make others happy.
“Be strong.” – other people’s needs are more important than your own.
These drivers have often led to success in climbing the next rung on the career ladder. They are not wrong, but you need to think about the dose. To what extent is the driver positive, and at what point does it cause you to exploit yourself and endanger your health?
In a work environment where one issue is right before the next, this is not always easy.

1. Identify and decouple drivers
First, find out what drives you. The patterns above are just examples; you may find others. Then realize that you are not your pattern! For example, a task that is not completed perfectly does not mean that you are bad, but simply that the task was not completed perfectly. Performance may be part of your identity, but it is not you as a whole person.
It is helpful to ask yourself: Who am I when I am not performing?

2. Define your own early warning signs
How do you know when things are getting too much? Are you more irritable, cynical, or do you feel it more as physical exhaustion? I have learned that our bodies send warning signals early on. It is important not to ignore them, but to listen to them. That’s why I pay close attention today when I haven’t slept well for a few days or simply lack the energy to do something fun with friends.

3. Actively legitimize relaxation
When was the last time you put your feet up and did nothing, or went for a long walk, without having to earn it first? Regeneration is a prerequisite for sustainable performance. For example, when you buy a new battery-powered garden tool, read the instruction manual. It usually says: “Please charge the device completely BEFORE using it for the first time!” Small changes, such as not justifying yourself when you go offline in the evening, can make a big difference.

4. Practice saying no consciously
In my experience, work goes where it gets done. When a manager has a choice between two employees. With one person, the manager knows that if I assign the task to them, I will first have to engage in a lengthy discussion. With the other person, they know that they already have a lot on their plate, but that they will complete the task properly and promptly. What follows is absolutely human behavior! Therefore, I see a “no” not as a defense, but as protection or prioritization. Sometimes that also means “simply” not taking on tasks immediately because someone has to do them. That was the case for me, for example. I was able to learn to give others time to consider whether they could/wanted to do the task without jumping in immediately.

So far, we have looked at individual triggers; now let’s turn our attention to the systemic framework, because stress does not arise in a vacuum.
In addition to workload, time pressure, and other known triggers, there are almost always unspoken rules, the “unwritten laws” of an organization.
These are usually lived out unconsciously and often even contradict the written rules. This is because they are passed down through generations in a company. They arise through role modeling, casual comments, and visible rewards for certain behaviors, as well as through tolerance rather than active confrontation.
When late emails or meetings become the norm, a silent standard is created.
When leaving early is commented on, availability becomes the social norm.
Not out of malice, but out of habit and learned patterns.
This creates systemic pressure without anyone ever ordering overtime or demanding constant availability.
Commitment is visibly rewarded. Boundaries remain invisible.

1. Make unwritten rules visible
There are companies where it is important to be available in the evenings or on vacation, while in others it is important to make realistic time commitments and stick to them. In workshops or reflection rounds, specific questions can be asked:
What behaviors are perceived as “committed”?
What are the consequences of setting boundaries?
Which behaviors are well received and which are not? Does this fit with our corporate values?

2. Consciously shaping exemplary behavior
Managers shape behavior, even unintentionally.
It is therefore acceptable to demonstrate that being absent or unavailable is sometimes okay, at all levels. This way, change is not only stressful, but also gives energy back.

3. Removing the taboo of overload
When stress can be openly discussed, the pressure to conform decreases. Not everyone has to “get everything done” all the time. It is good to say when it becomes too much, so that action can be taken in the interests of everyone.

Changing unwritten rules takes time and perseverance on the part of everyone involved. Even if everyone resolves to do things differently starting tomorrow, there will be setbacks and people who fall back into old patterns. That is precisely when it is important to address these issues openly, because they often happen unconsciously. How about regular collegial feedback on these topics, in private, in a spirit of trust?

Self-exploitation is not an individual failure. It is not an issue that affects only individuals, but one that is often a combination of internal demands and external systems.

The crucial question is therefore not only:
“How can I become more resilient?”

But rather:
How can we design work in such a way that commitment can remain healthy?

Perhaps change begins with a simple observation:
Where in my environment is commitment visibly rewarded and where are boundaries silently sanctioned?
Perceiving this fine line is the first step.