And of course, bigger issues take their toll as well. Layoffs, uncertainty, or major organizational change never leave employees untouched. Fortunately, many companies are now paying more conscious attention to how they support employees and prepare leaders during these processes.

So we are paying increasing attention to these obvious pressures. What is still often overlooked, however, are the many small things in everyday work that also cost energy quietly, subtly, and over long periods of time.

Sometimes all it takes is a careless remark in passing, a reaction that feels cooler than expected, the sense that an idea has not really been heard, or the impression that you constantly have to function without having much real room to act.

Not every one of these moments has to be objectively “serious” to have an effect. Often, the personal experience of a situation is enough for our energy level to drop.

There is also something that is barely visible from the outside:
Many people wear a kind of mask at work. They try to appear especially composed, resilient, or adaptable, perhaps to be taken seriously, to belong, or to reach the next promotion.

But maintaining that role over time takes energy. A great deal of energy, in fact.
And often, the people around us hardly notice at all.

At this point, you might say: there are just as many positive moments.

• A word of praise in passing.
• A meeting that goes really well.
• A successful collaboration.
• A sincere thank-you.

And yes, those moments do exist.

Unfortunately, our brains often process negative experiences more intensely than positive ones. While small positive moments are quickly taken for granted, small negative experiences tend to linger longer. They stay with us, continue to affect us, and accumulate over time.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, a single difficult moment is enough to make everything else suddenly feel less relevant.

Over time, this creates an imbalance:
The many small energy drains become one large mountain, while the positive moments are hardly noticed anymore, even though they are still there, and may even be more frequent than the negative ones.

This mountain does not build up overnight; it happens gradually. And the small things, in particular, can start to feel almost normal. Still, there are signs that are worth noticing:

• You may notice that you react irritably more quickly,
• that your patience is wearing thinner,
• that you feel exhausted after conversations or begin to withdraw internally.
• You may find it harder to concentrate,
• or notice that even the smallest task suddenly feels difficult to manage.

And this is exactly where the topic becomes relevant for leaders as well. Because these shifts often show up not only in ourselves, but also within the team:

• People withdraw more.
• The overall tone becomes more tense.
• Small misunderstandings become more frequent.
• Motivation and initiative begin to decline.
• Employees may still function, but no longer seem genuinely connected on the inside.

What makes this so challenging is that these changes often seem unspectacular. That is exactly why they are easy to miss even though, over time, they can consume a great deal of energy.

What helps me personally is making a conscious shift in perspective. Not in the sense of “just seeing everything positively” or talking problems away, but by trying to notice more deliberately the things that genuinely give me energy.

That can be something small: a good conversation, a quiet moment, honest feedback, or the feeling of having accomplished something meaningful.

Some people find it helpful to write down three positive things in the evening.
Others pause for a moment when something has gone well, instead of moving straight on to the next item.

Because positive moments also need attention if they are to carry real weight internally.

If, as a leader, you notice that the team’s energy or motivation is fading, it is often worth taking a closer look at exactly these small things.

Many teams regularly talk about tasks, problems, and timelines.
Much less often do they talk about what worked well, which small steps forward they made, or what the team can actually feel proud of.

And yet, that is exactly what can make a difference.

Perhaps a weekly meeting does not have to consist only of status updates, but can also create space for questions like:

• What worked well this week?
• Where did we support each other effectively?
• Which small step forward mattered?

That may feel unusual at first.
We are often used to talking about problems much less about what is going well.

Perhaps there is a cultural pattern behind this as well.
Phrases like “self-praise stinks” or, as people in Baden-Württemberg often say, “silence is praise enough” shape many of us more strongly than we realize.

But especially in everyday work, consciously noticing positive moments can create a counterweight to the many small things that drain our energy.

Perhaps today is a good moment for a different question:

Not just:
“What is costing me energy right now?”

But also:
“Which small things actually give me energy and am I still noticing them consciously?”