You have completed a task. A colleague or your manager praises you.

What is the first thing that crosses your mind?

A simple “thank you”? Then you can stop reading here.

But perhaps you feel or hear something more like:
I could have done that even better.
It should have been done faster.
There was a small mistake.
Where does this feeling of always wanting to achieve more come from? Who or what is driving you at this moment?

Let’s take a closer look at three inner drivers, especially in terms of how they affect you.

You are in a meeting. You actually have a different opinion, but your colleague or manager is convinced. To keep the peace, you remain silent.

But for the rest of the day, your thoughts keep circling: Should I have said something? Maybe this feeling even stays with you into the night.

Or the holidays: You try to please everyone, every member of the family, every invitation, every expectation.
In the end, you are exhausted and restless because your own needs have fallen by the wayside. A subtle feeling of guilt remains because you could have stayed a little longer.

You have achieved your goal, but you can hardly enjoy it.
Praise feels empty. You think: There is always room for improvement, you feel like you are never finished.

This inner drive is also evident in your private life.
When cycling with friends, you have to be at the front. Being second best makes you irritable, defiant, or sad.
Even short breaks or moments of relaxation feel uncomfortable because you see them as a waste of time.
Your thoughts keep racing, sometimes even at night or on weekends.

Success must be worked hard for, otherwise it is worthless.

Going home early even though you have accumulated overtime? Not possible.
It’s a friend’s birthday? You stay at work. The sun is shining? You keep working anyway.

You feel restless, pressured, and a persistent sense of duty.
Your performance becomes the benchmark and perhaps the most important part of your identity.

Internal drives are not fundamentally problematic, wrong, or even bad. They provide guidance and have probably carried you through training, studies, or challenging projects. Thanks to them, you have achieved a lot in your career, in sports, and in your private life.

It becomes difficult when they are no longer appropriate to the situation. When they block your breaks, keep you under constant pressure, or push you beyond your limits. For example, on your bike tour with friends. Is it really necessary to be in front?

This example shows when helpful motivators become stressful constant drivers.

It becomes particularly critical when your performance is the only thing that defines you.

Last month, I described how commitment can tip over. Such inner patterns are often behind this. And I explained how they arise in an earlier post about the tension between the head and the heart.

Observe yourself:

• What self-critical thoughts regularly pop into your head?
• What quotes or sayings do you often use?
• This often reveals a common thread.

Inner drivers are not your enemies. They have made many things possible for you. But they need guidance.

• When are they helpful? When are they not?
• Where do you want to consciously draw the line?

Perhaps you can start today by simply noticing what drives you.